#Jenna fryer

[anandrettisimp]

So when it comes to IndyCar we have a ‘big three’ when it comes to journalists

Marshall Pruett from RACER magazine

Nathan Brown from the IndyStar

Jenna Fryer from Associate Press

And, in all honesty, this whole Penske P2P situation shows everyone’s strengths.

Pruett is one of those motorsport journalists that were previously a mechanic so not only has that technical knowledge to give a different insight and expand on the information we have so far but has sources amongst the engineering and technical sides that’s others often don’t have.

Brown will ask questions, having gone to Tim Cindric several times since this all came to light and do his own investigations.

And Fryer, throws shade and stirs shit on twitter hoping it will somehow convince someone to give a tell all on her fainting couch.

Like, I wish I was joking. The woman has been attacking Josef since this began of all this happening.

Fun fact: Josef was always scheduled for Friday media, even before it was announced that he would be doing a mini conference in the morning.

And it’s not the first time she’s pulled shit like this.

She spent the “Daytona 23 hours and 58 minutes” acting like a gossip channel about what had happened to Devlin’s puppy as if to justify why she was at the track cause she talked more about blocking people than she did the race itself.

Then we have her basically bashing David Malukas for being upset that he didn’t win the Indy 500 rookie of the year over Jimmie Johnson, falsely claiming that he had abandoned another AP Journalist when he hadn’t and giving a half hearted back pedal before calling him and Dale Coyne Racing unsporting.

There’s also when she reported on Fernando Alonso’s announcement to be doing the 500, which was full of misinformation (highlights being that IndyCar and F1 totally use the same Honda engine and Fernando wasn’t going to have to do the rookie runs). When people including Mario and Michael fucking Andretti were calling her out on her bullshit, what did she do?

Compared herself to a journalist who had been murdered in Russia for speaking out against Putin and then used Billy Monger’s fund raiser as further deflection.

She acts like this, knowing that because she works for AP, people will still come to her with stories.

We’ve literally had Zak and Chip fight over her fainting couch throughout the Palou Contract saga.

And it’s fucking infuriating.

[indycarnocontext]

[umgeorge]

Press con questions that weren't shown:

Q: (Jenna Fryer – Associated Press) George, were you guys blindsided by this or have any idea that it was coming or under consideration, that a change in Race Director was coming? GR: No, no idea whatsoever. So, yeah, as I said, it was a bit of a bit of surprise.

Q: (Luke Smith – The Athletic) George, has there been any response from the FIA or the FIA president to what the GPDA put out? GR: No. Not at the moment, which I'm a little bit surprised about, to be fair. But maybe there'll be something to come. Who knows?

Q: (Ben Hunt – Autosport) It's obviously very disappointing to learn from you that there's no transparency at all from the FIA. Was there any response about where the money's going from for all these fines and all that sort of stuff? Because that's another key element which we would quite like to know as well. GR: No, I think ultimately for us, when we were hearing from the FIA a couple of years ago, when it came to the Presidential elections, they were talking about transparency, talking about where the money is going to be reinvested into grassroots racing, which we're all in favour for. And of course, when it comes to some of these large fines, there's a number of drivers on the grid who can comfortably afford these fines. There's maybe some rookies on the grid that if they're handed a $1 million fine, you know, they can't afford this. But if we know where that's being sort of reinvested and if it's going into grassroots or into some training programs, then we get it. As I said, I think we just want the transparency and understanding of what was promised from the beginning.

Q: (Kevin Scheuren – Motorsport-total.com) A question to George as well on that topic. Isn't it a bad sign that you need to open up a social media account to make your voices heard as a collective? Because it sometimes seems, looking from the outside, that the individual, if the individual has an opinion on stuff, he faces repercussions. Now you have to work as a collective. Are you more or less a pawn in this game? Do you drivers feel sometimes more or less as a pawn in this game, not taken serious? GR: I think we've probably learned from the past that whenever we have spoken up, let's say internally, it hasn't gone anywhere. And as I said, as drivers, we only want the best for the sport. We want to improve it, especially on safety grounds, but whenever it comes to, you know, decisions in the race, we only want to help. And it's been a couple of years now that not much has changed when we have sort of given some views forward. And I guess we all wanted to show that we are collectively united. And maybe that will show how seriously we feel as a whole on the subject.

Q: (Andrew Benson – BBC Sport) George, it's been seven years since the GPDA had put out a public statement of this kind about something they were concerned about. What level of confidence do the drivers have in the leadership of the FIA at the moment? GR: I mean, I'm not too sure to be honest. We recognise everybody's working as hard as they can to do the best job possible. There is obviously a huge amount of change within the FIA quite regularly, so it's clearly not the most stable of places. And maybe that's why it's been a bit challenging to get some of the changes that we've wanted implemented. Of course, everyone has their own side to their own story. But as I said, I think if we feel that we're being listened to and some of the changes that we are experiencing, requesting, are implemented, because ultimately we're only doing it for the benefit of the sport, then maybe our confidence will increase. But yeah, I think there's a number of drivers who feel probably a bit fed up with the whole situation. And it only seems to be going in, to a degree, the wrong direction.

Q: (Jordan Bianchi – The Athletic) For all three drivers: you returned to Vegas this year. A year ago, there was a lot of hype and excitement about this race. I'm curious, now that you come back here for a second time, what's the atmosphere like that you guys have kind of experienced so far? Kevin, let's start with you.

GR: Yeah, I mean, it definitely feels strange, this Grand Prix, just living in the night. And like Kevin says, the atmosphere builds up during the course of the weekend. So, yeah, let's see how it goes.

Q: (Anna Cordera – Momentum Racing) George, I'd like to ask you, you've been racing with Lewis for almost three years. What do you think is going to be different now you being the veteran of the team racing with Kimi, regarding the development of the car? GR: Yeah, I mean, ultimately, for most F1 teams, you have near on 1,000 people who are working towards building these two cars, yet you only have two drivers driving it. So, I think, let's say, in Lewis, in my case, it was never that Lewis had a stronger voice. The team listened to us both equally because both of our opinions were extremely important. And the same going into next year. You know, Kimi's new. He's fresh. And I'm sure he's going to have a lot of great ideas to bring to the table. So, you know, I am the more experienced of the two, but we will both get equal voices the same way, and we will both equally contribute towards the development the same way as it was with Lewis and I.

Q: (Ian Parkes – New York Times) Sorry, another question to you, George. George, is it that difficult to try and get a sit-down face-to-face meeting with the President of the FIA to discuss all these issues, that you have to go down the route that you did with that message? GR: It's definitely not difficult to get a sit down, but I think getting things to change or getting promises upheld seems slightly more challenging. So, it's maybe the FIA or the president didn't recognise how seriously we all felt. So I think that's why over the course of 20 races this year and also even last year we spoke about a number of topics, all of the drivers, we all feel pretty similar. We all know what we want from the sport and the direction it's been heading and we probably feel that we want to do a small U-turn on a number of topics and just want to work together with the FIA on this. And that's just what we've felt has not been happening at all, at least directly from the President.

[dellovestorant]

Q: (David Croft – Sky Sports) Sorry, George, GPDA public forum, this one. Did you and the GPDA think that the Race Director needed replacing?

GR: Imean, I can only talk on behalf of myself here as opposed to any of the other drivers, but I think there's no secret that some were not happy with what was going on in terms of the decisions that were being made, but at the end of the day, I think if you worked together with us, that we could have helped improve the matter. And I think sometimes just hiring and firing is not the solution. You kind of need to work together to improve the problem. So, let's see what this new era is going to bring, but every time there is a change, you have to take one step back before you make the two steps forwards.

Q: (Jenna Fryer – Associated Press) George, were you guys blindsided by this or have any idea that it was coming or under consideration, that a change in Race Director was coming?

GR: No, no idea whatsoever. So, yeah, as I said, it was a bit of a bit of surprise.

[rbr4c1ng]

Hii! I was wondering if you could maybe explain the bus bros fallout or p2p gate or pretty much all of the McLaughlin-Newgarden lore to me since I'm only getting in to IndyCar now and I want to be caught up before the 500. I understand this is a big ask but I've seen that youve posted about it and I just NEED to know. Any links to other pieces of lore would also be much apreciated. Completely understand if you don't want to write anything though so thank you so much I advance!! <3

YES ABSOLUTELY I WILL EXPLAIN! this is my special interest dw i could write an 18 page essay about their lore.

SO basically scott came into indycar from supercars in 2020-2021 ish and him a josef started getting along like super well, which is honestly a bit odd bc josef is known to not really let people get so close to him, so scotty is a bit of an outlier in that respect.

eventually! they make bus bros!!! wooooo everyone loves it etc etc they have fun making it…. until they don’t! leading up to their breakup there were QUITE a few clues that they knew it was gonna end in flames like scott talked about it on off track (see audio excerpt below) and on hot seats with hinch if i remember correctly?

there’s also a fair share of articles that mention it. they basically knew it was inevitable but i don’t think anyone thought it was gonna happen so quickly??

so then the winter break leading into the 2024 szn happened! this is about when i started getting really into bus bros and was honestly pretty present for some of this shit (i was at the daytona 24 and st pete so i’ve got some first hand evidence but we will get to that later)… anyways so the rumors start going around that bus bros is over around?? st pete time i think??? a little bit earlier. which is odd given that they seemed okay with each other at the daytona 24, even though i thought it was strange that they weren’t both on tower motorsports anymore cause josef switched to penske porsche but GENERALLY it seemed okay (although based on this pic idk their relationship seems a little charged atp but it’s all speculation really)

then after the rumors come out i think it was jenna fryer’s article that did it in? (idk it has a paywall on it for me right now and i don’t care enough to find it here but there’s definitely excerpts floating around) now i do recommend to take anything jenna fryer says with a grain of salt bc she is essentially a gossip columnist for all intents and purposes. but the article basically said that josef and scotty were done and scott wouldn’t answer any questions about it and was only saying that they’re fine or to ask josef about it (tea from todays 100 days to indy episode actually…). they promptly took down the bus bros merch site and have been relatively quiet since then. at st pete they talked on the podium and didn’t seem too bad but i’ve seen other clips where they won’t even sit next to each other or speak to each other so take that as you will. podiums are pretty much just publicity, cameras everywhere, you’d probably want to seem at least cordial with your teammate.

(pic 1 is mine, pic 2 is a pic of my tv from todays episode LMFAO)

so heres where most of the speculative stuff comes in. Josef dissolved his media company, unfollowed everyone, and cancelled bus bros leading into the 2024 season because he wanted to “get rid of distractions”, and really we could leave it at that, but i find it hard to believe that that’s the only thing that happened.

Josef is the dictionary definition of Penske Perfect, you won’t get any closer to it than him. he’s fucking OBSESSED with this idea of being perfect. perfect season, perfect body, perfect car, perfect team. obviously this isn’t feasible, but scotty seemed to have broken through that block in his little Penske Perfect brain and got him to LIGHTEN UP A BIT. and then the 2023 season happened. sure, josef won the indy 500 but it was one of his worst season finishes in a while and, to make matters worse, scott BEAT him. little scotty mac, supercars champion transplant from 2021 beat josef newgarden at his own fucking game after breaking down his walls and making him soft. i can see how that scared josef honestly. so he ended it. Scott doesn’t see things on a plane of winning/losing imo, everything is just experience for him. hell, he didn’t even know if he would end up in indycar and he sure as hell didn’t think he’d win races so soon AND beat his teammate. to josef, it’s JUST winning/losing. if he’s losing, he needs to be better. and he lost sight of that for the 2023 season. that’s why he had to come back and put an end to the shenanigans bc he knows scott makes him soft.

but that’s just my speculation!!!!! literally could just be nothing. maybe it is to josef, but i know for a FACT it isn’t to scott.

OH and with the p2pgate stuff! basically they had a component in their car that. was not supposed to be there! that prevented race control from turning off their push to pass like normal. (marshall pruitt has a rlly good article explaining it all here) and they were caught in long beach when race control forgot to turn on the push to pass during the sunday warm up and HMMMMM why do the penske cars still have it???? when has this happened before??? oh ok st pete! now they’re disqualified. josef used 9 seconds of p2p when it was not enabled and scotty only used 1.9 and will used none. so i’m led to believe that it was a josef-centered choice IF it was intentional to use the p2p when it was supposed to be inactive.

now josef really laid down the water works for that press conference at barber to the point that i was having a VERY hard time watching it. i felt bad for the guy. he seemed really fucking upset and i almost believe that it WASNT on purpose but. it’s just too good to be true right?

honestly i think this all could tie back to the downfall of bus bros in that scott maybe didn’t want to do the p2p thing but josef was willing to? and maybe that caused some sort of divide between them bc then again for josef it’s about Winning No Matter What, and yes scott wants to win but cheating isn’t the way for him. idk.

for more of their lore when they WERE friends, watch bus bros (duh), admit one, 100 days to indy, scott learns america: nashville, hot seats with hinch, and listen to scott’s episode on off track with hinch and rossi! also there are some very brief interactions between them on some older penske games videos before bus bros was even a thing but it’s not much. there are more but i can’t think of them rn…

sorry for rambling, if you have any more qs feel free to ask!!! i’m always available for brain picking :)

[cynon777]

Parnelli Jones survived the most dangerous eras of auto racing and became a hero to people young enough to be his grandchildren. One of the best drivers to run the Indy 500 -- and if you look at his career stats in that race, you'd be surprised he didn't run it more often than he did.

Rest in peace.

Screenshot credit: Jenna Fryer

[timetorace]

For anyone interested: It all started on Saturday when it was reported that Devlin Defrancesco’s dog was killed at the motor home parking lot at Daytona. First tweet didn’t say who (the person responsible didn’t reply to comments) so speculations started and Devlin’s dad retweets and Jenna Fryer’s tweets (IndyCar journalist) were suggesting that it was not an accident.

Today Jenna confirmed that the person responsible for the death of the dog was none other than Chip Ganassi, who claims that he did stopped, talked to 4 police officers at the scene and tried to call De Francesco with no answer.

De Francesco, his dad (Andy Defrancesco) and his girlfriend (the tiktok influencer Katie Samuell) are not only heartbroken but subtly letting slide that “everyone saw what Chip did and how he reacted afterwards” also suggesting that Ganassi didn’t stop after killing their dog and that he suffered a lot before finally dying (suggesting Chip didn’t help the dog afterwards). His girlfriend made a Reddit comment that she deleted quickly after. Some rumours say Chip was drunk but Jenna said he doesn’t drink. Jenna also says that Devlin’s IndyCar mates were “horrorified” at the pre-grid walk.

[zandvoortapex]

got blocked by jenna fryer on twitter for saying in another significantly less severe situation that it’s irresponsible to spread information she admittedly can’t authenticate or validate but that’s exactly what she’s doing again but this time i can’t see it (on main) 💀 for the victim’s sake i desperately hope it’s not true. or at least that it wasn’t leaked without her knowledge and consent. like this entire situation is setting a very nasty precedent. congrats f1 you just might scare any future victims into silence. disgusting the way most of this has been handled

[disneytasthic]

Enjoy the crispy delight of prawn tempura with this easy-to-follow recipe. Perfectly crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, these prawns make for a delightful appetizer or main course.

Ingredients: 12 large prawns, peeled and deveined. 1 cup all-purpose flour. 1/2 cup cornstarch. 1 teaspoon baking powder. 1 teaspoon salt. 1 egg. 1 cup ice-cold water. Oil for frying. Soy sauce and/or tempura dipping sauce, for serving.

Instructions: In a bowl, mix together flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt. In another bowl, lightly beat the egg, then add ice-cold water and mix well. Combine the wet and dry ingredients, mixing until just combined. The batter should be slightly lumpy. Heat oil in a deep fryer or large pot to 350F 175C. Dip each prawn into the batter, coating it completely. Carefully place the battered prawns into the hot oil and fry until golden brown and crispy, about 2-3 minutes per side. Remove the prawns from the oil and drain on a paper towel-lined plate. Serve hot with soy sauce and/or tempura dipping sauce.

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 6 minutes

Jenna S

[scuderlia]

i haven't actually seen anything to say that the person accusing horner is a woman? where did you get that from?

hi! sorry, it took me a while to reply to this.

quick note: the post that i made initially was in regard to the information that i had access to at the time, which indicated it was a female employee who made the accusations. it was primarily intended as a critique of how the whole situation is getting grouped into the greater "silly season" narrative and centralizing Horner and his achievements, while glazing over the fact that there is actually a legitimate investigation taking place.

i've done my best to try and compile some of the stories coming out about this but please keep in mind that a) it's a developing situation, and b) there's lots that hasn't been released to the public yet.

early on, the majority of the news coming out was via Dutch/German sources (primarily De Telegraaf), so a lot of initial information was relayed via translations done by people on social media.

via @/scuderiafemboy on X — @/leclercsletters and @/fiagirly also posted significantly about this

following that, i did some of my own searching/scrolling and found these two articles (snippets shown below) that indicated the complaint came from a female employee at Red Bull.

via 'Christian Horner accused of inappropriate behaviour by female colleague' by Matt Lawton (The Times UK) — *this article is paywalled*

via 'Christian Horner subject to Red Bull investigation over ‘inappropriate behaviour’' by Kieran Jackson (The Independent)

however, i will say that now there's more coming out now (ie: within the past few hours) suggesting that the complaint is more about his "aggressive management style" than anything else. this is still a bit unclear though, because plenty of people are questioning why Red Bull (+ parent company) would launch an independent investigation into something that is strictly of that manner.

via 'Red Bull investigating F1 team's Christian Horner over alleged misconduct toward team employee' by Jenna Fryer (The Toronto Star)

basically, the situation is ongoing and there's a lot that hasn't been clarified yet. Sky Sports made a video speaking a bit about the investigation, but it pretty much relays the same information that's been circulating since the morning.

via @/SkySportsF1 on X

please remember that it's important to do your own research as well! i'm happy to compile some of this stuff here but there's also no way i can keep up with all of it unfortunately, so i'd recommend finding additional sources online if you're curious :)

[anandrettisimp]

Something that occurred to me earlier when I should of been sleeping:

The timing of Alex Palou doing the helmet swap with Josef Newgarden at Barber.

Alex would have heard the other drivers comments in the press pit pretty much all universally negative towards Josef.

We also know that they were all following 100 Days to Indy.

The Thermal episode would have been out by then.

Yes there was the comedy of Will being Will but it also ended with Pato making a snide remark towards Alex.

And as we now know, thanks to owner of the communal fainting couch Jenna Fryer, how bad the environment Alex had to deal with him at the time of his then announcement of moving to McLaren with basically only his crew, Marcus and Jimmie talking to or acknowledging him.

He also had that lovely elevator ride with Zak Brown with him basically giving him shit after deciding to stay with Ganassi.

Alex knows what it’s like.

And he didn’t want Josef to feel alone.

[rickybaby]

this whole situation is just so icky, i hope the leak comes at least from the victim and not from some kind of internal power struggle

It just makes me so mad about the potential endangering of the victim. And for the journalist Jenna Fryer who first tweeted to then later say ‘please don’t quote me on that because AP hasn’t verified it yet’ — this kind of sensational journalism and the political games that come with it has made a complete mockery of the victim’s safety

[winnerkirkwood]

initial thoughts on 100 days to indy ep 1:

very weird to see journalists actual faces lol

josef and ashley's meeting story is so funny and cute

ashley seems great

scott and his in-laws are so sweet

jenna fryer has got to stop trying to make a bus bros rivalry happen

marcus erricson is great but we been knew

reliving the craziness of st pete really was something

scott going to apologize to romain was super sweet

the 83 days to indy500 bit was amazing it was a great cliffhanger/way to tie things back to the indy500

tldr: i loved it, can't wait for the next episode, and please watch it if you haven't already!!!

[dycefic]

The Goddess Emerges

I woke up feeling groggy and disoriented, because that’s what happens when you’ve been at work until 2 AM, got home after three, and then some asshole wakes you up at DAWN. I sat up - on a bit of a tilt, I admit - and tried to glare.

The androgynous person with the wild curls, brilliant smile, and faint glow around them didn’t seem to care. “Hail, Jenna! I congratulate thee on thy elevation to godhood!”

I stared at them for a second, then managed a semi-comprehensible mumble. “Wha?”

“Thou art a newly ascended goddess, and I am sent to bid thee congratulations and well-wishing!” The smile got even brighter. Whoever… whatever… this person was, they were abso-fucking-lutely delighted about this wonderful news. “I must away, for I am a busy messenger, but we twain shall meet again!”

And then the bright figure was gone and I was left sitting there, still half asleep and fully bewildered. After a second, I tried speaking again. “… goddess of WHAT?”

There was no answer.

I lay back and tried to convince myself it was all just a dream, but… it wasn’t. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but not this time. Some glowing, jolly … being… had woken me up at the asscrack of dawn, told me I was a goddess, and then left.

I mean… what the fuck?

I would have decided that it was a hallucination, I think, except that as I lay there, I realised slowly that even though I’d been asleep for maybe a couple of hours, I wasn’t tired. I really, genuinely wasn’t tired. It’s been so long since I wasn’t tired that it took me a while to even identify what was going on. And nothing hurt. Not my back, my shoulders, my knees, my hands… nothing.

I got out of bed and looked down at myself. I still looked the same, as far as I could tell. Medium build with a bit of middle-aged sag, scars on my hands from decades of kitchen work, the pallor of someone who spends all their time working nights, and the same ratty nightshirt I’d gone to sleep in. I went over to the mirror to check my face, and that was the same too. Lined, pale, with sharp eyes and a thin mouth, framed in slightly greyed brown hair. Ordinary. Not the face of a goddess.

But I wasn’t tired. Nothing hurt. In fact… I felt great.

Figuring I might as well ride the weird rush while I had it, I went to make myself an early breakfast… and a proper breakfast, too, with scrambled eggs and bacon as well as toast and coffee. I sat down to eat at my battered old kitchen table, and tried to think.

Obviously I wasn’t, like, capital G God, or anything. That would have presumably involved more fanfare than a single cryptic messenger. And they’d said ‘a’ goddess, not ‘the’ anything. And they’d used my name, so I wasn’t newly appointed as one of the gods anyone had heard of.

So… goddess of… something, I guess? One of those minor deities that accrued around stronger pantheons, or in isolated places. Like how little European villages in the middle of forests accumulated forest gods, or island countries picked up gods of seas and streams and stuff. I really hoped that was it. That level of godhood was something I could just about comprehend. Maybe I was the goddess of something really minor, like aglets, or deep-frying. I am really good at getting a balky deep-fryer to behave.

I really hoped that was it. I thought I could just about cope with becoming the goddess of deep-fryers, or pancakes, or something. That seemed like a… a manageable amount of divinity.

It felt strange being awake all day before work, and I did try to nap, but I just wasn’t sleepy. I tried, and ten minutes later I was standing in the kitchen again, mixing a batch of cookie dough. Baking helped - it kept me busy, at least.

It was a relief when I could head to work. I’ve worked six days out of seven at the Blue Plate Diner for the last fifteen years, and been part-owner for the last six. That kitchen was as much my home as my shabby apartment, if not more so.

I went in early, and sent Rio the day cook home. He looked exhausted, and was grateful to have his shift cut a little short, especially since I promised to pay him for the hour regardless. The day waitresses greeted me, though we don’t know each other well - I never work days - and Stanley the sous was there already.

I walked into my kitchen and immediately felt better. This was what I’d wanted, I realized, what my apartment kitchen hadn’t been able to give me. My kitchen, my domain… every inch familiar, every dish known by heart.

And then… I knew. I felt it.

I could feel the heat of a million grills. The bubble of a million fryers. And the prayers… oh, the prayers. A great silent roar of prayers that the orders would be right, that the rush would end, that the pizza wouldn’t burn and the fries would cook quickly. The pleas for endurance, for patience, for enough tips to get by, for a good smiting for a shitty customer.

Oh, I’m definitely going to be doing a lot of smiting when I figure out how.

I am a goddess.

I am the goddess of short-order cooking. And here in my kitchen, in the very seat of my power, I could do anything.

Stanley yelped and jumped back as my eyes snapped open, and I could see them glowing in my reflection on the grimy window. And then I did what every cook, whether they admit it or not, has always wanted to do. I raised my hands and I woke my kitchen up like a goddamn Disney magician.

Utensils flew on their own to their tasks. The fryer bubbled, blorped, and cleaned itself in one swift shudder, hocking out a lump of unknowable black ick into the nearest garbage can. The fridge opened itself so a dozen eggs could float out and over to the right station. I looked the other way, and the walk-in freezer popped open, spitting out two dozen rolls ready to be thawed. Sauces refilled themselves with a glance. A fry basket filled itself and put itself down in the cleanly gleaming oil. Oh, yeah. This is my domain. My temple. Here, my will is all.

Stanley was still staring, open-mouthed, and I grinned at him. “I became a goddess today.” He stared at me, eyes popping, and then he slowly grinned back. “If anyone was gonna be a kitchen goddess, you’re it. No doubt.”

I didn’t just stand there and watch the magic cooking. I’m a cook. I use my hands, always. But now it was like I had a hundred, a thousand more hands. Like I could see every inch of the kitchen, all the time.

And not just mine, either. While I grilled steaks and burgers, made salads and fixed milkshakes, my awareness expanded out further and further. Blocks away, a nervous kid at McDonalds stumbled and tried to catch himself, and I steadied him before his hand went into the deep-fryer. A woman at a food cart, out of napkins, prayed and found a package that hadn’t been there a moment before. An over-worked pizza chef got their second wind and three simple orders in a row. Food didn’t burn, orders didn’t go wrong, soft-serve machines unclogged and coffee-machines purred obediently. I was aware of all of it, doing all of it, and yet I was still fully aware of my own kitchen, my own diner, of every order going out in record time and the food being better than anything than even I’d ever managed before. I didn’t get tired… in fact, the longer I was in my kitchen, the better I felt.

By the end of the night, Stanley was a fervent believer, as were both the waitresses. I couldn’t hear their prayers quite as clearly as those of actual cooks, but counter staff and wait staff seem to come under my protection too, if they’re in one of ‘my’ restaurants. I tested my limits… anything that could be called short-order cooking seemed to be it. Fast-food, diners, and the like, mostly. Food carts that served hot food were mine, but dessert places of all descriptions weren’t. Bakeries and cafes were both off my list, and I could feel - I can’t explain how - that they belonged to different gods. Fine dining restaurants were outside my purview, and most delis, but anywhere with a deep-fryer or a grill lit up in my mind’s eye.

Closing up was a lot easier when the kitchen had become self-cleaning, so Stanley helped out in the front of the diner. Then we headed home. When I got back to the apartment, I wasn’t tired at all… I felt better than I ever have, charged by contact with my temple and my mostly unknowing believers. Turns out that gods - even minor ones - don’t need sleep to recharge, which is certainly a nice perk.

So that’s me. Jenna, the Short-Order Goddess. The Lady of the Grills. Patron of the Order Window. I have nothing to do with coffee. That’s someone else’s domain. But from the chain burger to the corner chippie, I watch over the kitchens and the staff of them all. They are my people, and I will care for them.

You wake up suddenly to find an androgynous being by your bed, congratulating you on your ascension to godhood and vanishing without explaining your domain or power set. Now you have to figure out what kind of god you are, and why you're a god to begin with

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